The other day, my mother told me about the gifts my siblings received when they were born- gold, silver, and love. My grandmother didn’t want a girl after the birth of my sister but the proficient lord helped me enter this world. Honestly, it’s not her mistake and I will never blame her for her aspirations no matter how much it breaks my heart to know that my birth wasn’t celebrated with the same kindred spirit as that of my siblings because
Women have for millennia participated in the process of their subordination because they have been psychologically shaped to internalize the idea of their own inferiority. The unawareness of their history of struggle and achievement has been a major means of keeping women subordinate.
Creation of Patriarchy, Gerda Lerner
Moreover, my lionhearted grandmother herself gave birth to seven daughters. In her tiny world, no one told her that it’s not natural to consider half of the human race as subordinate, no one told her that daughters are as good as sons.
I didn’t get gold or silver but I’m still pocketful. Over time, she got used to me. From changing my nappies to calling relatives to glorify my result, we’ve both come a long way. She was diagnosed with dementia last year and often forgets my name but never forgets my dream of opening a school one day. A few years back, when she was in the pink of her health, she used to knit sweaters for me, feed me aloo parathas, plait my hair, and scold me with the sweetest Punjabi cuss words. All these years, I’ve earned love from her. Now, when I ask her about the time when I was born, she tries to digress and often ends with the statement - “Bauji( my grandfather ) distributed barfis when you were born.” Hence, dear readers, I’m pretty sweet.
Earning love is difficult but it only happens when we’re open to love and acceptance. She didn’t receive as much love as her brothers did and maybe when she got boundless love from her granddaughter, she realised that it’s warm enough to sail through life. My sister got my grandmother a suit with her first salary, she was blissed out. I think she loves seeing us grow into thoughtful and independent women. She loves to see her grandchildren be the force she could never be.
Last winter, when I was feeling cold, she gave me her precious scarf, gold and silver will never be able to match its value. Here is an iconic photograph of my grandmother from Lohri Celebrations and a weird selfie of my crazy self with her scarf on. I’m pocketful and will always celebrate this life along with the lives of other women whom I love and adore, one being my grandmother.
So beautiful ❤️
Such a poignant piece! ❤